As I was going through things recently and finding little bits of the past and pieces of hope along the way, I found some I wanted to share.
Today I’m sharing another journal entry I recently found from January 2011. Three years had gone by since Lydia died.
Last night I got to hold you and hug you in my dreams. It was so real, so wonderful. I had a dream that you were at daycare and your Nana had kept it a secret from and she took you there. I went there and saw you through the window. I ran into the house and gave you the biggest hug and kiss. You were just like normal, nothing had changed. You had shoulder length beautiful blonde hair in a new modern cut and the same sweet smile. We took you home and had bunk beds for you and your brother and you loved them. Oh I miss you so much. It still hurts so badly. I love you. I wish I could have stayed in that dream forever…I can’t believe you are 8 years old now. It just seems like yesterday when you were born. I am so thankful that I got to know you and spend five and ½ wonderful years with you. You changed my life.
It still is painful to read my words from so long ago as it only takes a second to be transformed back to that time and relive the past. However, a few months after Lydia died I was fortunate to find a one of a kind drawing she had made me. One I had never seen before and like no other..the moon and the stars…eternity maybe? I see it as just this..the beauty of eternity…Amidst the moon and stars, there are bright sparkles in the darkness we must find and celebrate..So beautiful.
I awoke this morning and my first thoughts were exactly this..”I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me.” What a fabulous way to wake up, giving me that boost of confidence needed to face the day!
Life is challenging enough and when you add the burden of a grieving heart in the mix, life can get down right impossible.
Strength. What my theme this week is about. We all need strength to survive the impossible. We must reach out for help and grasp those external supports available to assist us and hold us up during our times of need. Whether it be a friend, pastor, counselor, support group, or just an intimate encounter with you and God, utilizing the listening ear and leaning on the shoulders of others is essential so we don’t have to face the many difficulties by ourselves.
Many hugs to all you grieving hearts….. Remember, although it may not feel like it at times, you are not alone and God gives you all the strength you need.