When A Friend Grieves…A Letter To My Friend

 

To my friend…

I don’t know what to say other than, I’m so sorry.  I don’t know the feeling of your loss and have no idea what that is like, but I can tell you from my own experience, the road of grief is not an easy one.  Although our losses are different, they are alike in many ways.

What I do know is that in the coming months and years, there will be times that you will need a friend.

A friend like the one you were to me after my daughter died and my world  came to a tragic end.  I will never forget.  Let all of us remember those “friends” who didn’t shy away from us during our loss, but instead put on their strong faces and poured out the compassion to hold us up and carry us through the storms of life.

For these friends are truly special gifts from above, sent to comfort us in our times of need.  We are eternally grateful, for friends like you only come along once in a great while.    goodfriendshardtimes

You were …..

The friend that brought me an endless supply of delicious home cooked meals, flowers, and even baskets of goodies just for me.

The friend who came over to visit time after time to sit with me on the couch for hours, meanwhile understanding and not caring that the laundry was scattered all over the house, the dirty dishes overflowed from the sink, and that my entire house was a complete disaster.

The friend who spontaneously showed up on my door step during the holidays baring gifts for the entire family, complete with a Christmas tree and decorations, as you knew it was too painful for me to open those decorations from seasons past.

The friend who remembered the anniversary date of Lydia’s passing every year without fail.

The friend who would invite my son over to play when he needed it most.

The friend who  took me to the doctor when my grief and anxiety became too much to handle and sat with me in the waiting room while I struggled to fight back my tears and catch my breath.

The friend who never judged me, or was afraid to be around me.

The friend who still lets me talk openly about my daughter, eager to hear about my inner thoughts, and doesn’t mind when my eyes tear up and I begin to cry.

The friend who worked endlessly for hours making me a priceless treasure, a beautiful scrapbook of my children and family.

The friend who has supported me in all my goals and given me much-needed advice and guidance in every aspect of life.

The friend who would tell me the truth even when I didn’t want to hear it, but needed to.

The friend who has acted as my guardian angel, knowing deep down what was best for me and helping me close doors that needed closing and given me the courage to open new ones.

The friend who has encouraged me to take those leaps of faith and helped deepen my spiritual self in ways never imagined.

After over 15 years of friendship, I thank you from the bottom of my heart for all you have done for me and my family. You have an enormous heart full of love and  compassion.

You were there before, and also that horrific day, and you have never left my side.

With tears in my eyes as I write this letter, my heart hurts for you and the grief you are experiencing

I pray that God will give you strength, peace, and comfort in this frightening and lonely time.

You have raised the bar so high, I will do my best because you have shown me exactly the friend I want to be for you.

You’re in my thoughts and prayers…

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11 thoughts on “When A Friend Grieves…A Letter To My Friend

  1. Alysha says:

    This is so beautiful. As lucky as you were to have your friend during your painful season, I know she is equally as blessed to have you by her side.
    I remember worrying incessantly about the fact that my friends/family might one day have to walk the path I have walked. I would never wish that pain upon anyone. Although we cannot control what happens to ourselves and others, we can promise we will repay the kindness that as been shown to us by being a great friend through the tough seasons of our friends lives if and when they arise. Praying abundant blessings on you as you harness the courage and strength to walk closely with your friend through their difficult loss.

    • Daphne says:

      Thanks Alysha. Your wonderful words of wisdom ring so true! You are right, kindness leaves an impact like no other. I haven’t forgotten all the kind things others have done for me and I hope I can be as much of a blessing to them as they were to me. Thank you for your kind words..We couldn’t travel this journey without them.

  2. galeweithers says:

    I am sorry for your friend’s loss but strongly believe based on this post that you are going to be an awesome supporter (because you had lots of friends who were there for you and who helped you to realise what really means the most when a loved one has been lost). The bible is quite right when it tells us: “Blessed are they who mourn, for they shall be comforted.” Hugs!

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