Happy 10th birthday to my sunshine…..
To my son…You have endured the worst, so many changes to your young life. You were part of the ideal family, loving parents with an adorable big sister. And then, when you were a mere 3 ½ years old, the only normal, happy world that you knew came to an abrupt end.
I can’t imagine what life was like for you, seeing your parents in such a desperate state, your world crumbling down, not sure of what tomorrow would bring. You weren’t sure how to act, or what to say and neither were we. They said you would be too young to remember, yet with your incredible mind, you have proved that to be nothing more than a myth. For months and years, bits and pieces you have spoken, reminding me that you too were there that horrible day….You know it and you still see it. A little boy sitting among the rocks and weeds clinging to his mother, watching and wondering, soaking it all in as police arrived and your sister was flown away in a helicopter. Just minutes before your life was perfect. Not a care in the world, as it should be for a young boy. All that mattered then was playing, what was for dinner, how many bugs were on the sidewalk and slaying dragons in the house.
And then suddenly, you were alone. Your world shattered. Seeing you suffer without your best friend, without the parents you knew, without the grandparents you knew was so heart breaking to watch. Anger, bitterness, and inconsistency were the new normal. It wasn’t fair. Life was then filled with sorrow, darkness, and emptiness. I’m so sorry. We did our best which probably wasn’t good enough. Yet, having you there saved me by giving me hope and letting me focus on what really mattered. I know the past years have not been easy, but together we held on and with God on our side, we came out of the storm thankful and able to count our blessings.
Your resiliency has amazed me. Your faith in God and your caring soul have evolved you into such a beautiful person, inside and out. Watching you grow and mature throughout the years and your grasping of the true meaning of life has profoundly impacted the way I see things. God has blessed me with being your mother and for that I am eternally grateful.
My big-hearted boy is turning into such a fine young man. We love you so much. Happy Birthday!