With four boisterous children, my eagerness for bedtime is probably not what you’re thinking. Although, many nights I secretly anticipate the quietness and after the kids are asleep, giving me the chance to clear my head, relax and collect my thoughts. Don’t get me wrong. I love that time and desperately need it.
But for me, the beauty comes when the children are tucked in their beds in a full state of calmness and relaxation, then comes the purging of their minds and deepest thoughts.
A few nights ago, I said goodnight to my four year old daughter, tucked her in bed when I noticed that she was starting to get tears in her eyes.
“What’s wrong, are you alright? “ I asked.
“I miss Lydia,” she quietly replied. “How did she die?”
And then the middle brother chimed in, “Car accident.”
She then wants to know all about heaven. “Is she alone? Does she have a bed? Are there stairs there? Does she have a clean sheet on her bed? What color is it?” The adorable and innocent questions kept coming.
I tried my best to answer in ways she would understand. “Yes, she has a bed and clean beautiful colored rainbow sheets, and she is so very happy with all of her family and friends, and Jesus. AND she loves you very much.”
“But I really miss her,” she says in her trembling voice as tears rolled down her sweet cheeks.
“Can we just watch cartoons, talking about Lydia makes me cry,“ Says my oldest and one who holds all the memories with Lydia.
My heart was slowly breaking apart, opening the seams that have been stitched together with tiny threads of hope. Although she had never met Lydia, she lives in her heart and they share a connection like I can’t imagine. It was so incredible to see that out pouring of pure love in that moment.
Lydia is surrounded by love and so are her brothers and sister. They love her more than anything. Even though she is not physically present, spiritually she is with us all everywhere we go.
Lydia had always wished for a lot of brothers and sisters and she got them.
So often we neglect those left behind to wonder and imagine about the life that was lost. It’s our job to teach them about the beauty of life and death and the amazing gift of Jesus and while it may seem like the end, it’s really only the beginning.