On those moments when you can’t get out of bed
When the pain is so sharp this new life can’t possibly be real
When you don’t recognize the woman in the mirror
He sees you
When you are etched with wrinkles, appearing to age overnight
When you have no strength to parent your other children
When you have to break the news to your surviving child that their best friend is now in heaven
He sees you
When you are struggling with every breath and haven’t changed clothes in days
When the thought of getting out of bed seems like it would take a miracle
When the terrifying nights are so long, you are desperate for rest yet sleep never comes
He sees you
When you cry out to God begging for answers, pleading him to take you instead
When your mind holds you hostage, as you wonder why it had to be your child
When you must pick out their last adorable outfit, clothing them for eternity
He sees you
When the chaplain sits by your side and describes to you what your precious child looks like in their casket because you’re too afraid to see
When the mere thought of living without them makes you panic as you scream in disbelief
When you’re angry and afraid as you realize you’ve given them their last hug
He sees you
When you have to face their bedroom knowing they will never be coming home
When it’s family portrait time and you can’t possibly do it without them
When someone asks how many children you have and you are paralyzed with words
He sees you
When you attend your first support group meeting and know you don’t belong
When you see families enjoying each other and you are so overcome with jealousy you secretly despise them
When you are grasping at straws, reaching for every book ever written, desperately searching for hope and truth of heaven
He sees you
When the darkness comes and you are terrified of the night
When the sun rises and it hurts knowing time is moving forward
When you can’t imagine going back to church without them
He sees you.
When the guilt becomes suffocating as you replay your last conversations begging for a do-over
When the flashbacks are relentless
When you lay on their grave just to feel close to them
He sees you.
When the tears flow like endless streams
When your words waiver between past tense and present
When you smell their shampoo or sniff their clothes, frantic to inhale their fleeting scent one more time
He sees you
When you’re so afraid of forgetting their voice
When you can’t begin to eat their favorite foods because the guilt consumes you
When no one acknowledges their birthday
He sees you
When the dishes pile up, the laundry overwhelms and bill don’t get paid
When you question God’s plan
When you accidentally laugh forgetting for just a second they are gone
He sees you
Hang on. One day at a time. You can do this.
He sees you.
I see you.
Isaiah 43:2-When you go through deep waters, I will be with you. When you go through rivers of difficulty, you will not drown. When you walk through the fire of oppression, you will not be burned up; the flames will not consume you.
Photo Credit-Pixabay Yuris Alhumaydy @yrss
Daphne Bach Greer 