I’m here to remind you, you can do this.
It hit me as I was watching my daughter’s dance recital the other night.
Seeing her so beautifully poised, smiling, flawlessly dancing across the stage- she was so grown up-my heart instantly sank as the tears fell silently. I loved watching her, but I couldn’t help but think of my firstborn.
13 years ago I was making sure her costume was perfect. I watched Lydia be the star of the dance show, seeing her beam with excitement, making the audience laugh, stealing the show. Boy, she loved the spotlight.
While sitting in the audience the other evening, I suddenly realized I was one of them now.
How was that possible? 13 years she has been gone. Unbelievable. Sometimes it feels like yesterday, other days it feels like an eternity since I held her in my arms.
I remembered my early years after her passing, sitting in the grief support meetings surrounded by other hurting parents.
I listened to the heartbreaking stories of those who had been on this journey 5, 10, 15 years, and I feared them.
They scared me.
Because there’s no way that could possibly work for me. There was no way I would be able to live that long with this horrific pain.
And now nearly 14 years later I have become one of those parents.
One of those parents who has survived the worst and has managed to live without her child. One of those parents I once was afraid of.
All these years later that familiar deep pain is just below the surface. It will never go away and will always be a part of us. As pain pierces our hearts, let us embrace the precious memories and remember the deep love and connection we have with our children. I believe it keeps us in balance, constantly holding our hearts and giving us perspective in every part of life.
It may not feel like it right now, but you have what it takes to survive and thrive.
Slowly those days add up to years without us realizing it.
Magnificently, God renews our strength daily, providing all we need to make it, one more day.
You got this.
On the journey with you.
Those who hope in the LORD will renew their strength. They will soar on wings like eagles; they will run and not grow weary, they will walk and not be faint.